I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
