I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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