If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
True strength comes from lack of pants
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
