Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
