i think i have herpe
just one?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
