I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
