And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
