pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
