I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
