can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
