then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
