Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
