Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
