If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
