I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's blow job season.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
