so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
