I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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