You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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