Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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