My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
