I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
