I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
