I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
