No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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