i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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