I think I died a long time ago.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
