was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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