how can u be prego again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
