ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
