Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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