I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
