I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
