Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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