Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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