I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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