Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
