oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
