Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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