just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
