I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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