I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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