If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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