I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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