So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
