You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
