What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
