Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
