I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
