Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
