Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
