And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
