I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
vagina is talking i cant
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
